i'm officially 2 days away from my brunei flight... but i dont feel like boarding the plane at the present situation...

funny how parents are the way they are...

quoting from affirmation by savage garden

"i believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do"
thkx for doing ur best to let me know life isnt gonna be as simple as i want it to be
thkx for taking away the childhood i nv had
thkx for all ur quarrels that nv is reasonable
thkx for all the heartbreaks that i always had
thkx for putting me down when i needed u both to back me up
thkx for giving me a home i nv felt like its one
thkx for watching me grow without ur guidance
thkx for allowing me to grow feeling i am always inferior
thkx for spending all ur time with my sisters
thkx for taking me and ah ger for granted

now i know dreams don come true, goals does
now i know childhood is the best gift i can give my children
now i know quarreling nv helps
now i know i can nv cry again
now i know i have no one to depend except myself
now i know home includes furnitures and FAMILY
now i know how talking will be a best form of education to my kids
now i know my inferior feeling nv goes away, i'll die with it
now i know how much i try i do i wave i shout, ur focus are nv on me
now i know just how much u want me in ur life....

I still remembered how u told me i was an accident
i was nv meant to be born in the first place

i came into and left ppl life countless time
and each time i did my best to help wherever i could
but i nv once asked to be remembered...

when u are unhappy, i am here no matter how bad in shape u are...
but when u are happy and you forgot abt me, i'll still here wherever u need me

if making u smile requires sacrifice, i'd sacrifice to see you smile
how many ppl understands this phrase exactly?

my parents showed me all the ways u can trash a family
and its oso thkx to them that i learnt how valuable are the things i nv had

talk abt how lousy i am at girls
i feel inferior, and i am sry abt that
I LIKE U
but i cant tell you, he always seems to be the better choice
and ten days l8r when i come back
maybe you would alrdy had forgotten abt me

i used to tell myself this and i am STILL telling myself this...
no one will remember me the day i am gone

i don think my parents will, what abt you?

but matter how lil i weigh in this world, i'm keeping myself alive, for everyone i cared abt.. even if you do not do the same...


if only time can fast forward, till the day i breathe my last breath and leave the world quietly...